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| How to overcome Scandals in Kenya |
Life in this
country has taught me a whole lot of things. If Kenya was a teacher, perhaps
I'd have to part with tonnes of diamonds to acquire this knowledge. I thank God
that learning life and its lessons is free of charge. I am generous, I'll share
some of my knowledge. Please take notes. The topic of discussion is: HOW TO OVERCOME SCANDALS THE KENYAN WAY.
Without further ado, you SHOULD do the following:
1.) Deny, Deny, Deny.
How many times did I write that? For emphasis purposes, keep denying. Even the "James Bond" guy denied ‘dandiaring’ the helicopter yet there were many witnesses hehee. This guy though. He was doing the right thing. You even go ahead and swear an affidavit that the only time you saw the "wrongdoer" was on TV. Or better yet just say you have NEVER set your eyes on the culprit. It never goes wrong.
2.) Disappear for a while.
After perpetual denial, go into oblivion for a while. Is the world of blogosphere tormenting you by talking about your alleged divorce? Take a leave from work so that you can seek solace. Stress is not good for anyone. You can also insist that you are stepping down on medical grounds. Who would want to stress a sick person anyway? This is the wisest step to take.
Without further ado, you SHOULD do the following:
1.) Deny, Deny, Deny.
How many times did I write that? For emphasis purposes, keep denying. Even the "James Bond" guy denied ‘dandiaring’ the helicopter yet there were many witnesses hehee. This guy though. He was doing the right thing. You even go ahead and swear an affidavit that the only time you saw the "wrongdoer" was on TV. Or better yet just say you have NEVER set your eyes on the culprit. It never goes wrong.
2.) Disappear for a while.
After perpetual denial, go into oblivion for a while. Is the world of blogosphere tormenting you by talking about your alleged divorce? Take a leave from work so that you can seek solace. Stress is not good for anyone. You can also insist that you are stepping down on medical grounds. Who would want to stress a sick person anyway? This is the wisest step to take.
READ ALSO: Beware of Con men & Con-friends who will never pay debt.
3.) Do not respond.
Kenyans on Twitter ( KOT ) are a very notorious lot when it comes to trying to get on your nerves. They could revive a hashtag that was used on your wedding day especially when the rumors of your divorce are seen. But this should not worry you. Play dumb. Keep off social media for a while. They will eventually get tired of talking. They might come up with hashtags like #SoAndSoMustGo but let it not get to you. Pretend that they do not even exist.
4.) Re-appear to redeem yourself.
People will somehow forget about your scandal after a while. They will even miss you and ask about your whereabouts. An exclusive interview with one of the TV stations will come in handy. You should be well prepared for this. Ensure that after the interview everyone wants to stand with you. Or better yet explain how your life is doing okay after the divorce. How you still love your ex-husband despite his 310 prayers. Make them pity you. An instagram post is not also a bad idea. The caption should be able to tell them of how you have been going through hell but you have finally overcome. Tell them you are now back to work feeling revamped.
READ ALSO: Corruption: The Litle one knows it too.
5.) Go for an elective position
Congratulations you made it to the political arena. Kenyans love scandalous leaders. Trust me, you will hardly make it in politics if you are "too clean." Tell the people that you have decided to heed to their advice about contesting for an elective position. Promise to bring change.
3.) Do not respond.
Kenyans on Twitter ( KOT ) are a very notorious lot when it comes to trying to get on your nerves. They could revive a hashtag that was used on your wedding day especially when the rumors of your divorce are seen. But this should not worry you. Play dumb. Keep off social media for a while. They will eventually get tired of talking. They might come up with hashtags like #SoAndSoMustGo but let it not get to you. Pretend that they do not even exist.
4.) Re-appear to redeem yourself.
People will somehow forget about your scandal after a while. They will even miss you and ask about your whereabouts. An exclusive interview with one of the TV stations will come in handy. You should be well prepared for this. Ensure that after the interview everyone wants to stand with you. Or better yet explain how your life is doing okay after the divorce. How you still love your ex-husband despite his 310 prayers. Make them pity you. An instagram post is not also a bad idea. The caption should be able to tell them of how you have been going through hell but you have finally overcome. Tell them you are now back to work feeling revamped.
READ ALSO: Corruption: The Litle one knows it too.
5.) Go for an elective position
Congratulations you made it to the political arena. Kenyans love scandalous leaders. Trust me, you will hardly make it in politics if you are "too clean." Tell the people that you have decided to heed to their advice about contesting for an elective position. Promise to bring change.
Thank me later!!!By: Mercy Simatwo
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Do you have something to add to this article? Please leave a comment on the comment section below.
Do you have a story/article you would like to share with us? Kindly send the article to: chuonikenya@gmail.com and we shall publish your article for free. Thank you.
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