Why I regret starting university in a relationship! ~ Joyce,E.U

I regret being in love during my first year of university. My first relationship ended soon after my second semester, but Cupid's arrow had already left its mark on my university experience.

Despite moments of happiness, being in a romantic relationship during my first year had far-reaching consequences that affected both my social and academic life. I started to dedicate less time to my studies and more time to my boyfriend, while my goal of forming a tight-knit university friendship group dropped down my list of priorities.

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Some people might say that I'm wrong to blame this on being in a relationship.

Anne , a SECOND-year  B.A student at Egerton University who is in a long-term relationship, says: "I don't think a relationship has to be a reason for grades falling. It depends on the type of person you are, the person you're dating, your age, the way you think, and what you prioritise.

"It hasn't affected my grades: there are many variables that cause your grades to go up or down. You can't blame love."

Yet for me, everything became of secondary importance to my love affair and my grades suffered as a result. Essays would be completed half-heartedly and lectures would be spent fantasising about a future involving me, my lover, two kids and my Techno china phone.

Conversations with potential friends were kept short as I had to make time for romantic dates at Tatton hostels, room no. 68.

Then, my second term ended – and so did my relationship.

Related: An open letter to all women out there, ... the boy child.

Determined not to let my first year blues affect my grades, I made an effort to overcome the pain of heartbreak during the ‘mid-sem’ holiday, and even gave myself a three week deadline to do so. In hindsight, this was a little optimistic.

It was difficult to focus on my coursework during the beginning of my second year. While writing essays I would catch myself day-dreaming about how beautifully aligned my ex's freckles were.

But in time things got easier and my urge to send texts saying "I miss you" dwindled.

I received my coursework grades, which saw a marked improvement over my first-year results. There was a simple reason for this: the time that was previously spent with my ex-girlfriend was now spent on my studies.

Forming a friendship group is now back on my to-do list, and I am keeping my fingers crossed that Cupid keeps his arrows at bay until I graduate.

Do you think it's a bad idea to start university in a relationship? Or have you had a positive experience? Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Written by: Joyce, Egerton University. 

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